Dear Married Me...

Last August, I returned to Guatemala.

It was a dream come true not only to revisit the place where God first planted a seed for missions within my heart, but also to take Luke with me. At the end of the trip, Bob Henriques, our host missionary, asked us all to write a letter to ourselves, which he promised to mail half a year later.

True to his word, I received an envelope addressed to myself last night. As I unfolded the letter (the contents of which I had long forgotten), I found myself reading about one of the important lessons God was teaching me then and has continued to teach me through marriage. It may not make complete sense to you, but for all who have asked or wondered what married life is teaching me, here's an attempted answer...

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To Me:

I wrote this letter once before-- 16 years ago. That was half a lifetime ago. Only this time, things are different...

Last time I came to Guatemala, I had zero interest in missions. The trip simply sounded like a good thing to do. This time, I return with 13 years of missions experience. I understand so much more, and yet-- after listening to the testimonies of all these missionaries and local believers-- realize how little I really do know. Hearing their experiences, their testimonies, their passion convicted me of how little I tried to understand Taiwanese people and their culture. I simply (pridefully) assumed that I didn't need to, that my way is best.

But now that I'm preparing for marriage, I'm learning to accept the legitimacy that other ways work too. So many times on this trip (and particularly during orientation), Luke would handle a situation completely differently than I would have. The night we had our most intense disagreement, I realized that I was not ready to let VOICE become something different than I had made it. It's terrible to say, but I knew I had not fully surrendered it to God, so I was still trying to control things the way I knew how.

By the time I receive this letter, I'll be a married woman with several months of experience working through these issues. So a few check-up questions:

• Are you holding things loosely?
• Are you trying to understand Luke?
• Are you honoring him in every decision you make?
• Are you living out the truths that you've shared "in theory" on a daily basis?
• Are you serving the Lord with gladness?
• Are you praying for the missionaries and believers you met?
  

I could write much more, but I'm pretty exhausted and still have to pack...

Signed,
me
August 18, 2008

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Posted with Luke's permission. :-)
Photo courtesy of Rowan Gillson